dangdangdangdang: havok ensues
by chrisfan121
Summary: a bunch of kids have to murder eachother to escape a school full of mayhem. typical high school stuff. (WARNING! NOT FOR CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVERS!) [on hiatus due to lack of motivation]
1. rise and shine, seesaw!

it was a dark and stormy night. nobody knew that though, because monokuma NAILED THE GOD DAMN WINDOWS SHUT.

also they were still in comas too but whatever. kayayday was fast asleep, in a locker, snoozing away, only

to be interrupted by someone screaming "SEESAWS" at the top of their lungs, right in her ear.


	2. let's meet the friends! (part one)

as kaede got up (she fell btw) she saw a dude in black wearing a dumb looking hat that was also black. "hey! my hat's not dumb!" said the weirdo. "also my name is suichi saihara. we're friends now." said sushi hair as he handcuffed himself to kaede. "oh uhh... okay?" questioned kayayday because she was not suicide sailhoe. "lets meet the other duders and stuff" said suichi saihara because he was suicide sailhoe. as suichi walked over to the dining hall, dragging kaede by the neck, they saw three people, a sjw with a weird looking bow on her head, a maid that appears to have an edgier-than-thou mentality, and a midget with an odd hat. "all men are kings!" said the maid with what, upon closer inspection, appears to be a toy of a green lightsaber. the sjw also has a lightsaber, being a toy of kylo ren's crossguard model. "if he breathes, he's a PIG!" yelled the weird bow girl.

that was when they charged at eachother.


	3. let's meet the friends! (part two)

it was intense. people were throwing tables everywhere, the bow girl knew martial arts, (presumably from a video game) the maid was also deadly, weaponizing her ability to drop people into swimming pools. the little dude got hit in the face with a folding chair while trying to break up the fight, and i guess someone else did as well but they weren't introduced in the story yet. they finally stopped when the maid threw the sjw out the window(yes, through solid metal).when our "heroes" made eye contact with the stranger, she promptly greeted them."hello. my name is kirumi tojo. looks like whe have more witnesses. can't let that happen." kaede was worried, while sushi was just standing there blankly."i'm just kidding." jojo continued, "i just got back from something important so you can ask me anything. i know a lot of stuff." kaede knew just what to say, because she was not suicide sailhoe. "how did we get here?" she asked, only to be met with a flat "i don't know" from kiss me jojo. "anyways, enough filler. this is my friend tenko chabashira." tanko chubbyshrub was too busy being unconscious to reply. however, mr. tiny was ok with introducing himself."i am ryoma hoshi, and i am in so much pain right now." he said. "guys, did you see my teeth anywhere? i lost them during the fight." said an unknown voice. the source stepped out of the shadows and out came...

what i can only presume is an anthromorphic avocado.


	4. let's meet the friends! (part three)

"you must be kaede." said the stranger, "and you must be a vegetable". nobody had noticed that shuichi(i had been misspelling his name the whole time forgive me) had fallen asleep during the exposition, and kaede was still on the ground,making three dorks that are laying down, including tenko chabashira. ryoma hoshi had disappeared as well."i'm rantaro amami, if you were wondering." said runtaro mommy, trying to break the awkward silence."it's nice to meet you...naruto?" kaede's mind was totally scrambled. how did he get naturally green hair? and those asymetrical ear piercings were driving her insane."i don't know my talent. what's yours?"running avocado asked. that's when tenko woke up, took a running start, and leaped through another window covered in a solid sheet of metal, knocking out kirumi tojo in one hit."begone, THOT!" she gang just disregarded tenko, except for tenko because she was tenko."anyways, what's even going on?" asked KKKAAAAEEEEEEEDDDDDDEEEEE because she was not suicide sailhoe, who is asleep."we appear to be stuck in a school and there is no way out." says avocado boi."but what about the holes i made?" tenko asks, gesturing to the broken windows."nope. no exit."runtaro emphasizes, to tenko's frustration."but the broken wind-huh?" the hole in the windows were replaced with more window, leaving no hole behind. this frustrates tenko further.


	5. let's meet the losers! (part four)

kaede, forgetting she isn't standing up, does so because she is tired of this shit and leaves. in the hallway, she sees more weird looking idiots, consisting of some sort of edgy person with impossible purple hair and a coat he refuses to put his arms through the sleeves of, alongside a girl with blue hair that is dressed the same way. the guy was talking about going to space, and the girl is reacting as though he does it every five seconds. it was at this point that the narrator realized they didn't describe kadead's appearance. basically, she looks like the kind of person who plays piano in public and charges people for her to stop playing, but has bigger tits. wait,what's this? oh no! the two strangers have been standing within three feet of eachother for five minutes! that means... oh no. SLOPPY MAKEOUT SCENE! now the narrator has to describe the people kissing in great detail before the characters can be introduced!(or rather, tell kaede their names and then fuck off for half the story.) as the purple-haired coolkid leaned closer, so did the blue-haired girl. they got closer and closer, until they were right in eachother's faces. the blue-haired girl was the one that made the first move, suddenly attatching her mouth to his like two magnets colliding. they were kissing hardcore, making a sound like that of a poor-mannered guest eating spaghetti at a diner. "right, i'm just gonna go now, i'll leave you to your... thing." said kaede, ruining a plan for a joke about walking in on someone at a bad time and the insult "go fuck yourself". instead, kaede akamatsu headed towards some sort of garage, shuichi literally dragging behind, that is full of books. she expected new people to meet, but nope.

instead, a chair was positioned as if it fell over forward, and none other than naruto avocado was balancing himself on top of the chair. "how's your aquaintance quest been so far?" he asked.


	6. why is it taking so long?

by the time roundabout by yes stopped playing really loudly from nowhere, kaede was screaming at the top of her lungs, rantaro's ears were ringing, and shuichi was confused.

kaede was trying to say;"it's been going well." except att the top of her lungs. rantaro amami, calm despite being temporarily deaf, responds;"oh, i thought you said 'fuck me until my eyeballs fall out.'"

kaede, clearly tired of rantaro's shit, simply asked,

kaede:isn't your name one letter off from being an anagram of naruto?

rantaro:...

shuichi WAIT WOAH why did the dialouge format change? won't that limit the opportunity to tell jokes?

rantaro:but it's more efficient so shut your up.

kayayday:but seriously, about your name. you're naruto in disguise, aren't you?

rantaro:uhh YOU'RE WRONG

kadead: SORE WA CHIGAY YO

rantaro: okay fine you got me, but next time i will be hokage!

and with that, he ran off like an idiot.


End file.
